Tales from the Bedroom Floor

We’re all guilty of hoarding, of keeping things for longer than we should. It’s human nature to think we can find a use for the odd little knick-knack which came with the vacuum cleaner we chucked out a decade and a half ago. Why wouldn’t we? It’s got a nice shape which looks like it might fit under the thing, if the thing ever jams, and if we can work out which thing we’re referring to. It’s pure Darwinism – just as finches shaped their beaks adapted for their specific habitat, so the third drawer down from the top adapts to that household’s misplaced optimism. I myself am from a family of hoarders. In an ideal world the Stanleys would extend property indefinitely, upsize forever, if it meant keeping every series of Red Dwarf , including Smeg Ups and Smeg Outs , on VHS cassette. Though as a unit we’re on the right side of being crushed by four years’ worth of local newspapers (just about), those ingrained habits are tough to break. Even now, years after flying the coop, my ...